The little things....

Seeing as my husband has been gone for going on five weeks, well maybe six, I've had a LARGE amount of time to sit back and think about things. My dreams, goals, fears, desires, you know life in general. I think I've come upon some seriously good thoughts....

First- I cannot control the people around me. I cannot make everyone get along, I am not responsible for anyones happiness except my own and to some extent my sons. I cannot make people not say negative things about me, but I can control what comes out of my mouth. I cannot make people see through the drama that certain people create and expect for those said people to magically change. But I can make sure I'm not the drama.

Second- I take a great deal of pride in being married to my husband and the mother to my beautiful son. I am overly protective of both and have realized that it's not necissarily a bad thing to be that way. I tend to overthink everything when it comes to my child, what he eats, what he says, who he's around, what he wears, and who he is becoming. I have also realized that I am truly thankful that he is a handful, this determination can, and will help him to be a remarkable young man. He drives me crazy when he reminds me that he is definitely two, but I'm ok with that, it's good to be reminded that he is still little. I have also realized that for the most part I truly am not concerened with how others raise their kids, every kid is different and so is every parent, what I am concerned with is people who seem to think that if another child is different it makes them "bad", FYI this isn't the case. Can you imagine a world where all of our kids were the same? Boring is the only word that comes to mind.

Third- I am a mess, and I'm totally ok with that. I am far from perfect but that is the way that God intended me to be. I pride myself on being there for anyone in need even if they haven't always been there for me, I can't hold grudges to save my life. My house is usually messy to a point, but my child gets bathed sometimes several times a day. I am still friends with all of my ex's and see no problem with it, no one holds a place in my heart like my husband so there's no need to dwell on the past and not get a long. I'm finishing up my degree but I don't plan to use it, many think this is wierd, but this is what works for us. My job as mommy is number one right now, and while some may not agree unless your name starts with a G and ends with OD it's not your place to judge. 

And that has been what my last few weeks have been spent doing, figuring out the positive aspects in my life and focusing on those, and coming to terms with the negatives and changing them. Cutting ties in some areas and mending bridges in others.  Afterall that is what life is all about, finding ourselves and becoming the people we're supposed to be.

Brenna